


Once There Was a Hushpuppy - Outtakes

by Molespeople



Series: Egg In Your Milky Way [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: And Asspuppies, Asspuppy, Crack, Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack, Implied Mpreg, Kid Fic, M/M, Mpreg, No Method To This Madness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-08
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2017-12-14 08:45:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/834958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Molespeople/pseuds/Molespeople
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The aftermath of Egg In Your Milky Way and Once There Was a Hushpuppy. There's even a litter :/ </p>
<p>Exploring situations that Derek and Stiles and their X number of cubs get into. There's no point to this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Kid Has Talent

**Author's Note:**

> WELL. The title is from Beasts of the Southern Wild soundtrack - Once There Was a Hushpuppy. This is a great movie and really should not be associated with this junk. 
> 
> But I thought hushpuppy would be a cuter term to refer to your children (in front of your children) vs. asspuppy. 
> 
> Ratings might vary. I think this could be suitable for General Audiences though. 
> 
> The kids have names (and there's a story in my head about that) but just FYI - Angus, Hamish, Fergus, Merida. 
> 
> I think I'm probably just crazy at this point. I'm sorry. Unbeta'ed.

Stiles is in the bathroom when he hears the giggles. "Angus, I swear if you're poking the baby again..."

Stiles walks into the bedroom and Derek is standing there, looking shifty. 

"Looking good, Daddy-O". Stiles plops onto the bed in a strategic defensive position next to the baby's Moses basket and looks at Derek suspiciously.

Derek snorts. " Four cubs later, I've still got it."

Stiles assumes a sexy pose."Ha ha ha, it's just MY body that looks like a ravaged post-apocalyptic Earth - overrun with mutated creatures." 

" I'm still pretty sure, you're the only person in Beacon Hills who's seen After Earth...and referring to your own children as mutated creatures...tsk tsk".

Stiles sits up and dangles a hand in the baby's basket. " Who said I was talking about the kids? But let's get down to business, Mr. Hale, what cha doing?"

"...I should help Allison and Scott with the other cubs..." 

"Not so fast, mister! I know you were poking the baby. We've discussed this. One - It sets a bad example for Angus...and for Scott. Two - What kind of health ramifications there might be - both physically and mentally- if people keep running around, poking her tummy."

Derek looks skeptical. "You know this applies to you too, right?"

"Of course, although, one could always argue it's one of my maternal rights." 

"It's not." 

Stiles watches Derek leave the bedroom. He looks over innocently at the baby. Baby Merida is just lying  
there, all baby-ish. Stiles tries to resist...and fails. Merida giggles. 

" I HEARD THAT STILES!"

"But she's just like the Pillsbury Doughboy, Derek. I don't know how anybody could resist that little tummy-wummy." Stiles picks up the baby and joins the rest of the pack.


	2. All Night Disco Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because sometimes babies get stuck in car seats. And it's late. And you're just tired, so tired.

Stiles rests his head on the steering wheel, flailing a hand towards the backseat. 

Derek checks and nods in the affirmative. 

Stiles clasps his hands together and looks to the sky, mouthing prayers to various deities. Derek and Stiles begin to trudge through a well-worn routine - unloading the sleeping children from the van. Until they hit a snag...

Stiles depresses the button on the last car seat harness - lightly tugging on the belt. Nothing. Stiles frowns sleepily, pressing the button and jiggling the harness again. Derek shuffles closer to investigate the hold-up. He takes one look at the situation and one hand suddenly sprouts claws. Stiles takes one look at Derek and scrambles out of the vehicle - dragging Derek to a safe distance. 

" You are not shredding another car seat, Derek. I will shoot you if you put your stupid, mechanically-challenged paws anywhere near that car seat."

"Too many words for right now. I can't. Just want to sleep."

Stiles tiredly embraces Derek and they stand there, leaning on each other, resting their eyes. "I want to sleep too... but if you cut the baby out of the car seat...it means we have to get a babysitter...and go to the store and get another one...and that whole...process just makes me so tired. And we've already had to do that like five times because this...keeps happening."

"Why do the babies even need car seats? They're werewolves, they'll heal."

"Again I see the logic in this, but I think that would make us bad parents and the child endangerment thing...and the cops. It's okay - they're werewolves..." Stiles huffs. "And the thought of the children hitting the windshield kind of freaks me out. Splat."

"You're so picky."

"I know. Love you too. I'm a go get some Windex. Windex says Google." Stiles shuffles into the house. 

Derek stumbles over to the car and blearily observes the baby sleeping in the car seat and waits...

Stiles shuffles out of the house empty-handed and muttering. Derek rolls his eyes and shreds the car seat's seat belt.


	3. Read Me Like a Book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles ponders the logistics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I modeled the Family Housing scenario after my alma mater. I did not live in Family Housing. But I did read their Community Guide for some reason... and lead poisoning was a big thing and there were many pages about the dangers of lead in regards to babies and pregnant women. So go figure, they would put the families in the apartments that have lead paint...

It's four days later when Stiles begins to think about the logistics about being in college and taking care of a baby. Stiles starts devouring the college's housing website between feedings and changings and entertaining the various people who want to see the baby. It turns out Stiles is eligible for "Family Housing" which at least takes care of the where can Stiles live with the baby part. But then it becomes more about who's going to take care of the baby when Stiles is in class or working to make the money to buy the things that apparently the baby needs. And this is where things hit a little bit of a snag. Apparently the college's childcare center doesn't accept fresh out of the oven newborns. Angus won't qualify until a couple weeks into the semester. And even then Stiles is not sure he can swing the childcare tuition - even at the reduced rate - on top of paying for the other baby necessities. Even if he could afford it...well apparently if Angus gets scared enough, he could turn back into a puppy. Deaton said something about a defense mechanism and increased mobility, but right now it's just something that makes Stiles' life more difficult. Sleep is nearly impossible because Stiles has no clue how he's going to make this work. 

And Stiles knows. He knows he's leaving Derek out of the equation. But he can't imagine Derek wanting to leave his spartan, but spacious loft, and follow Stiles to school, trailing after him, just so he can live in a crappy apartment on campus and watch Angus while Stiles is in class. Stiles can't even imagine Derek wanting that.

Until that's all he can imagine. 

He sees Derek furrowing his brow when he overhears the neighbors through the thin walls. Stiles imagines himself puttering around in their allotted garden plot as Derek runs around trying to prevent Angus from eating soil or paint chips which may or may not contain lead according to the "Family Housing Community Guide". He fantasizes about Derek playing with Angus - throwing him in the air or blowing on his tummy - while Stiles studies for his test. And when Stiles does well, Derek is there to celebrate with him.  
Stiles' imagination really runs away from him and he's convinced that he's been walking around all week with an equally wistful and goofy look on his face. 

Stiles doesn't know if he was that transparent. However he does know when he finds the required paperwork, already signed by Derek, to make his imaginings, a reality, that he's really happy.


	4. Diet Mountain Dew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek and Stiles try to do some shopping with their four kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for Possible Distastefulness? -- At one point in this chapter, a child falsely states that they have a tumor and are dying. This is not intended to convey that children having tumors or being ill is humorous, but rather highlight the fact that children lie. 
> 
> The triplets (Hamish, Merida, and Fergus) are four. Angus is seven.

It turns out that Derek is a bit of a health nut.

Not that Stiles minds because Derek is also hot. Derek has watched the Pack order and eat 20 pizzas or Stiles hoover curly fries without batting an eye. But as soon as the pups were born, this dietary nonchalance vanished. No high fructose corn syrup. No fast food. Seriously, no fast food. When they go out, Stiles packs almonds, carrots and hummus, or celery and peanut butter. The minivan is just COVERED in peanut butter fingerprints and garlic-scented chickpea smears. There's probably eight million almonds hiding in the minivan's nooks and crannies - Stiles is ALWAYS finding them. It's not that Stiles doesn't agree with Derek. He wants the kids to be healthy. But the kids have never had a Happy Meal. Stiles tried to rectify this once and it did not go well. It did not go well at all. But anyway, the kids don't mind NOT eating fast food citing that the meat smells strange. The real problem is the high fructose corn syrup. 

\----------

Stiles finally finds a parking spot and quick pulls into the space. He turns to look at his children still strapped in their various car seats.

"Okay, let's hear the rules, kiddies."

Merida kicks her legs idly against her seat. "No biting," she chirps.

Hamish is chewing on some almonds but pauses and says, "Listen to Daddy, Alpa...or Angus." 

Fergus is looking out of the window. "Behave, no tantrums."

Derek turns around and looks the children in the eye. "That's right. No means no."

"Yes, Alpa."

Stiles claps his hands. "Okay, you know the drill. Stay in the vehicle until everybody is unbuckled. Once everyone is unbuckled you may then disembark -". Stiles is interrupted by the children barking, and he starts laughing.

Derek takes over. "Once you leave the car, you are to attach yourself to your assigned parking lot buddy."

Stiles nods. "Like a limpet."

Derek sighs. "Like a limpet -"

"Circulation to that limb should be cut off." Stiles adds. 

Derek frowns. "Stiles! They've been in a parking lot before." 

Stiles nods. "This is true. Let's do this."

\--------------

Derek and Stiles are standing in the store. The children are huddled around then. Stiles claps his hands. "Coupon time!" Stiles starts distributing coupons amongst the children. "Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to gather these items. The amount you need to get is on the sticky note. Does everybody know which aisles they are heading to?" The children study their coupons and nod. "Okay, if you need help, you know where to find us. Be good - DON'T RUN INTO PEOPLE!" Stiles shouts, calling after the children. 

Stiles turns to Derek. "You are keeping tabs on them, right?" 

"Most definitely."

Stiles sighs and starts pushing the cart. "We got them out of diapers and somewhat self-sufficient, and then look what happens." 

Derek rolls his eyes. "It should be pretty easy this time. There's only one."

Stiles looks at him. "I love the fact that you basically think I'm the equivalent of an Easy Bake Oven." 

"I didn't say that. Don't put words in my mouth." 

Stiles groans. "I'm serious. This is the last one. We're one step away from being THE TLC channel. We can't fit any more kids in the minivan."

"We could always get a minibus." Derek says in a deadpan manner. 

Stiles lightly slaps his chest. "Very funny, ha ha."

Merida runs up the cart with three packets of toilet paper. She tries to hoist it into the cart and Derek helps her guide them in. She hands the coupons to Stiles, brushes her hair out of her face, and trots off. 

"She's making a beeline towards the toys, isn't she?" 

Derek nods. "Yup".

Hamish waddles up to the cart, balancing multiple boxes of toothpaste on his forearm. His shirt is also protruding suspiciously. Hamish starts handing the boxes to Stiles who deposits them into the cart. 

"What have you got there, Mish-Mash?"

Hamish looks up at Stiles and says seriously. "A tumor."

Stiles rolls his eyes and Derek sighs. "Oh boy, that's a big one. Do you think we need to operate?" 

Hamish stares at Stiles. "No."

"So you feel like walking around the entire store with a bottle of soda up your shirt?"

Hamish sighs and removes the soda from under his shirt. He turns to a random woman standing near them. "I'm dying. And they won't let me drink soda." 

The woman turns around and gives Stiles and Derek a weird look. 

"He's not dying. He's going through a very dramatic phase where he thinks lying to strangers is appropriate behavior." 

Hamish looks down. "I'm sorry. I lied. I WILL NEVER LIE AGAIN!" He proclaims to the stranger.

Derek guides Hamish away to return the bottle of soda to the shelf. Stiles stands there awkwardly by the cart, trying to avoid eye contact with the stranger.

Fergus wanders up and starts depositing jars of peanut butter and one jar of Nutella. 

"That wasn't on your list."

Fergus freezes. "Yes." 

"You know the drill."

Fergus nods and hands over the jar, trying not to look emotionally invested in the chocolate hazelnut spread. Stiles inspects the ingredients label. "Well, it looks like it passes the test." Stiles puts the Nutella in the cart. Fergus smiles widely. And then he freezes, eyes focused on something behind Stiles. Stiles whips around and there's a Batman shirt. Internally Stiles groans because Fergus has already ruined five similar shirts when his shifts into a little werewolf – and been devastated every time. 

"Sorry, Fergus, you haven't gotten stripping down yet."

And of course, the same random woman from earlier is standing there and she's looking completely aghast. Stiles wishes he thinks a little before he opens his mouth sometimes, and begins to laugh nervously and addresses the woman. "You must think we're so strange. He does beauty pageants, I was referring to his routine where he strips......into Superman." Stiles nods enthusiastically and the woman just gives him another strange look and hurries off. "Smooooth, Stiles. Great."

Fergus is staring up at him, looking confused. "Sorry buddy, just talking to myself. Maybe next time on the shirt, okay?" 

Fergus looks dejected. "Okay." But he tucks his hand into Stiles'. Stiles draws him close, ruffling his hair. Stiles sees Derek walking back, carrying Hamish, who's looking a little dejected, and more than a little wolf-y. Stiles notices Angus behind Derek. He's carrying the requested paper towels and guiding his reluctant sister towards the cart. Stiles sighs. 

Derek takes one look at Stiles and says, "I'll take the kids out to the car if you want to check out."

Stiles may or may not consume an entire packet of M&M'S on the way to the car.


	5. Animal Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles is surrounded by animals. Literally. 
> 
> The number of homicides in Beacon Hills really make it a buyer's market. They get 32 acres for a song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I'm the kid who didn't want to get off the bus when we had a field trip to the farm. The only experience I have with farming - my mom lived on the farm - and the Internet. LOL so many chicken bookmarks for some ODD ODD REASON because there's basically NO CHICKENS in this chapter. I don't know why this happened.
> 
> Ages: Angus: 9; Triplets, 6; Elinor, 2.

Stiles is sitting at his desk working on his next novel (Because honestly what was he going to do with his Classics degree. He's been hailed as writing Percy Jackson for adults, and Stiles can live with that) when he hears a bleat. Stiles' first thought is, not this again. This is not the first time the local petting zoo has been burgled. His children being werewolves think this gives them the right to "commune" with animals. "But Oscar said he wanted to come home with me" or "Penny was sad, Daddy." For the record, the kids cannot -CANNOT - talk to animals. Stiles regrets showing them Doctor Doolittle, every single day. So he's kind of surprised when he finds Derek standing in the garden holding a goat. 

Stiles purses his lips giving Derek a shrewd look. "What are you doing with a goat?" 

"It's a tester goat."

Stiles pales. "Like the cow in Jurassic Park?!Are you going to make Angus kill it as a werewolf rite of passage?

"Angus is nine. Why would I make him kill a goat?"

"So you're going to let him love it and take care of it for a year and then make him kill it?

Angus runs out from behind the barn, the triplets trailing behind him. " I have to kill a goat! Nobody told me I had to kill a goat! " 

Derek puts the goat down on the ground. "Nobody is killing the goat!" The goat gives Stiles a baleful look before trying to make an escape. The kids charge after it.

Derek crosses his arms and studies Stiles. "You've got writer's block, don't you?"

Stiles sighs and hangs his head. "Yup." He roughly runs his fingers through his hair.

Derek turns his head and watches the kids in the distance. "Bring the goat back here, please." 

Stiles and Derek watch as the kids poke and prod, wrangling the goat. It's kind of entertaining. 

Stiles bumps shoulders with Derek. "Tester goat, huh? Is tester goat going to end up like tester chicken?"

Derek shrugs. "Maybe. Goat milk is good for you." 

For the record, they have 17 chickens. Derek spends probably a couple of hours a week online on various discussion boards talking about the chickens. Stiles finds this hilarious. And now they have a goat. Great.

Derek looks toward the house. "Elinor is up."

Stiles sighs and heads into the house. He emerges with a wriggling mop of brown curly hair. She's not a very happy camper. A teething werewolf toddler. Not fun. But as Stiles struggles to soothe the little girl, she suddenly stills. "Boop!" She cries out. And the goat comes running. Stiles tries to shield the baby from the goat...that is wagging its tail. Elinor's struggles renew and so Stiles has no chance but to put her down on the ground.

"Boop boop boop." Elinor starts tenderly patting the goat's head. The goat just snuggles against her. Elinor bursts into a fit of giggles and starts running around, the goat keenly following her every move. Angus, Merida, Hamish, and Fergus run over, buzzing with excitement. "Ellie knows goat!" They exclaim. Stiles barely refrains from slapping his forehead. Of course their youngest can apparently commune with goats. 

The goat is christened Boop. Even though the goat herd eventually grows and Elinor loves playing and taking care of all of them, Boop is the only one that is routinely smuggled into the house for the next 12 years, much to Stiles' chagrin.


	6. We're Far Enough from Heaven Now We Can Freak Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott wants to borrow the kids for the day. Derek and Stiles don't really have a problem with this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from song title of the same name by Deep Cotton. 
> 
> This would precede the chapter - Diet Mountain Dew. 
> 
> Also, lol, this is unbeta'ed.

We’re Far Enough from Heaven Now We Can Freak Out 

Stiles sometimes wonder if his kids are pod people. They don't really like to watch television or movies. That's not to say, they don't, but they'd rather run around outside playing with each other or help Derek with the farm.

Though their favorite things to watch are: 

1\. Doctor Doolittle. The 1967 musical version. Stiles thinks it's really boring but it keeps the kids occupied for two and a half hours - which is not bad, especially if Stiles is behind on a draft and Lydia is on him like the perfectly manicured mongoose she is.

2\. Brave. It's a long story but a little bird (Scott) told the children it was their parents' favorite movie, which is why the children are named after Brave characters. So the children think of it as their movie. It's the movie they choose if it's raining or they're feeling under the weather.

3\. Robin Hood. The Disney version from 1973 with the talking animals. The children rationalize that the animals talk because they are werefoxes or werechickens. Derek and Stiles have to hole up in the kitchen, stifling their laughter whenever they hear the term 'werechicken'.

4\. Planet Earth. Derek has to hide the Blu-Ray constantly. If the kids find Planet Earth, they'll spend all day watching it. However Planet Earth turns the children into hellions - the living room gets destroyed when they pretend to be elephants, they shriek - encouraging the predators to catch the prey. It is the opposite of a calm afternoon.

Which is why Stiles is surprised when Scott shows up early one Saturday morning. So early that the kids aren't even awake yet and Stiles and Derek are just sitting at the kitchen table savoring the silence. Derek is at the door before Scott can even knock, ushering him into the house. 

"I need to borrow your kids."

Stiles nearly spit-takes his orange juice. Derek just takes another bite of his eggs and keeps reading his newspaper. Stiles looks at Scott gauging his sincerity. "Our kids aren't library books - you can't just borrow them." 

Scott sits down at the table. "Please. Allison is freaking out that she's going to be a horrible mother. So I'm thinking she spends some times with your kids and she won't worry so much about when the baby arrives. " 

Stiles and Derek exchange a look. Stiles sighs and turns back to Scott. "First, our kids are four and seven, not really representative of 'The Newborn Experience'. Also, I'm not sure that spending an extended period of time with our kids is going to make Allison feel better. Lastly, the first couple of months are just about surviving - there's no time for adjectives like horrible or bad." 

Scott nods. "Okay, but you're the only person I know who has kids. I could ask my dental hygienist, but I'm pretty sure she'd say no." 

"But all of them?"

Scott shrugs. "Are they a package deal?" 

Derek sniffs. "They're kids. If you single one out..."

Stiles nods emphatically. "So yeah, package deal."

Hamish comes shuffling down the hallway, rubbing his eye. "Why is Uncle Scott here?" Stiles begins to answer but Hamish interrupts. "I haven't had my morning coffee." Scott, Stiles, and Derek watch as Hamish retrieves a mug, scratching at his stomach. He places the mug on the floor. Hamish then opens the fridge and removes a gallon of milk. He crouches near his mug and tilts the jug of milk...and most of it makes it in the mug, but Hamish just groans and goes to fetch a paper towel. He eventually makes his way over to the kitchen table. Derek holds his mug while Hamish climbs onto a chair. Hamish sits in the chair and takes a big gulf of milk. “ Ah. Now I feel almost human.” 

Stiles is rubbing his mouth. Scott can’t tell if it’s because he’s trying not to laugh. Derek is suspiciously hiding behind his newspaper. Hamish takes another sip of milk before turning to Scott. “ Let’s hear your proposal.” 

“Well I was just saying that I wanted to have you guys stay at my house for the day.” 

Hamish seems to consider this. “ Well, I’m game. Just let me get my things.” 

It’s not really a surprise that the rest of the kids are also excited to head to Scott and Allison’s. They don’t even wait until after breakfast.

For some reason, Scott decided to run over to the farm. So Scott leaves with the kids and the minivan.

Derek and Stiles stand in their living room, disturbed by the relative quiet. 

"What happens now?"

Derek frowns. "Chores?" 

\-----------------------

Scott pulls up to his house, parking in the driveway. The kids tumble out of the car, milling about. Allison opens the front door and gestures towards Scott. “ Come here.” Scott smiles and starts walking towards Allison. The children follow him. Allison cracks open the door. “Get in the house, Scott.” Scott’s smile fades. Allison looks at the children and holds a hand out. “Stay. Okay. Staaaaaay.” Allison pulls Scott into the house and slams the door. 

The children look a little confused but stand on the doorstep, staring at the door. Hamish whirls around and sits on the step. “I can’t believe I’m missing Weekend Edition for this.” 

Angus looks at his younger brother, shaking his head. “You are sooo weird.”  
\-- 

Allison drags Scott away from the door. She speed-waddles into the kitchen and starts rummaging around. Producing a piece of a paper and a pen (that works) she starts writing. She turns around and presents the piece of paper to Scott – ARE DEREK AND STILES DEAD? 

Scott recoils. “WHAT? No! Why would you think that?” 

Allison tosses the paper and pen on the counter. "Because in the seven years that Stiles and Derek have had kids, we have never EVER babysat. I seriously thought we were one step away from a Dickens novel. "

Scott frowns. "It's not like we've never hung out with the kids before."

Allison snorts. "Not unattended!"

Scott gives Allison a hug. "So it makes sense that we get a little practice before our baby gets here."

Allison nods. "Maybe you're -" 

The doorbell rings. Allison and Scott's eyes widen. Scott runs to the door and flings it open. 

Hamish is standing there, finger reaching for the doorbell. "Sorry if you were having a moment but I'm hungry and Merida needs to pee."

Scott scratches his head. "Well, sorry that we kept you waiting out here."

Allison approaches Merida and tries to crouch down to her level. "Do you need help in the bathroom?"

Merida shakes her head. "No, thank you." Merida walks into the house and looks around. "Um. Aunt Allison, where is the bathroom?" 

"Oh sure, it's just down the hallway, turn right, and then it's on the left." Allison notices Merida holding her hands in front of her face, looking at them intently. "It's a little hard to find, do you want me to show you?" 

Merida nods. "Yes, please." Allison leads Merida down the hallway. 

Scott turns to the boys. "So what do you guys want for breakfast?" 

Hamish contemplates this question. "What do you have?"

Scott opens the fridge. "Eggs and...some pizza." He closes the fridge. "We also have some bread, so toast and cereal." 

Hamish presses a finger to his lips, thinking intensely. "Could I have Eggs Benedict?"

Angus settles Fergus on the couch. "He'll have the cereal." 

Hamish whirls around. "You're not the boss of me! I want Eggs Benedict." 

Angus frowns. "You're a guest, Hamish. Alpa told you to behave." 

Hamish stomps over to the couch and sits down, arms crossed. "Cereal would be _delightful_ , thank you."

Merida runs down the hallway and jumps on the couch. "What's for breakfast?" 

"Cereal." Hamish grumbles. 

Merida brushes her hair out of her face. "What kind of cereal?" 

"The boring kind." 

Scott goes to the cabinet and starts pulling out boxes. 

Merida gasps. "What's that one?" 

Scott looks at the box he's holding. "Lucky Charms?" 

Merida looks at Hamish and Fergus who are staring at the box. "I don't know what that is? Do you eat that?" She asks. 

Scott looks puzzled. "Yes. It's cereal."

"But there are so many colors!" 

"Yeah, it's probably not very good for you. I don't know why we have it." 

Allison walks into the kitchen. "Ooh, Lucky Charms. Gimme."

Hamish stands up. "Well I'm sold."

Scott starts pouring the cereal into bowls. Scott leans on the counter watching the children try the cereal.

"What's the verdict?"

Hamish shovels some into his mouth. "Where has this been all my life?

Merida waves her spoon excitedly. "It's soooo cute. I found a heart!"

Fergus nods happily. "It's good."

\----------

Stiles looks flabbergasted as he stumbles into the living room. "How are we done with all the chores?" He flops down on the couch. "Seriously it usually takes hours and hours - with the kids helping, how are we done? I even vacuumed!"

Derek shrugs and sits down on the couch. "Don't try to analyze it - it'll just make you want to cry."

Stiles sighs and reclines on the couch. "So...it is really quiet in here." Stiles looks around. "I wonder how the kids are doing?"

"Scott would have called if he had any issues."

Stiles nods. "This is true...So what do you want to do now?"

"I don't know." 

Stiles worms his feet into Derek's lap. "You want to give me a foot rub?" 

Derek smiles wryly at Stiles. He stares intently at Stiles' foot before poking a certain spot. "Ah, that tickles, you traitor!" Stiles flails and falls off the couch. 

Derek leans forward. "You okay?"

Stiles groans. "Yes...want to watch a movie?"

Derek gets up and removes a DVD case from the bookshelf and crouches in front of the DVD player, waiting for it to open.

Stiles climbs back onto the couch and takes in the view.

"So what's playing at the Hale Theatre Company?"

Derek flips the DVD case over. "Despicable Me 3."

Stiles sits up suddenly. "Oh my god. There are no kids! We don't have to watch a kid's movie. We can watch movies with swearing with actual swear words...AND NUDITY." He runs to the bookshelf and starts perusing their DVD collection. Derek stands over his shoulder. "Where did our grown-up movies go?" Stiles laments.

Derek frowns. "I think Scott borrowed them?" He looks at Stiles who looks disappointed. "We could go into town and see a movie, maybe go to dinner? " 

Stiles sighs. "But it's such a hassle and expensive... I love you."

Derek laughs. "Love you too."

\----------------

Allison and Scott's living room is silent. Allison and Scott exchange looks with the Hale children.

Allison inches next to Scott and whispers, "What do we do with them now?"

Scott shrugs. "I don't know, I thought they would kind of entertain themselves."

Fergus raises his hand. "I like the park. They have swing sets. I can jump really far!"

Allison and Scott look at each other. "That's a possibility."

Angus sighs. "Merida's not allowed at the park any more."

Merida nods emphatically. "Yes. This is true."

Allison and Scott look at each other puzzled, but remain silent.

Hamish raises his hand. "Chuck E. Cheese's. Period." 

Angus groans and slaps his forehead. "Hamish is definitely not welcome at Chuck E. Cheese's." 

Hamish stands up. " I am innocent! Where was my trial? I'm being denied my rights."

Angus sighs. "Just sit down, Mish-Mash." Hamish sits down, pouting. Angus rolls his eyes and turns his attention to Allison and Scott. "Could we watch a DVD?" 

Allison and Scott nod. "Definitely. We have movies." Scott gestures to a shelf. "We keep our movies over there. Why don't you take a look and pick out some options?" 

Angus nods and the leads the children over to the shelf. 

After some pointing and discussion. The children return with some options. Angus solemnly hands their choices over to Scott. 

Scott reads the first title. "Reservoir Dogs?" 

Merida nods. "That was my choice because there's doggies." 

Allison starts to laugh and then stills. “ I have to go to the bathroom.” 

Scott looks dismayed. “Don’t leave me.” 

Allison waves him off. “ I will be right back.” 

Scott turns his attention back to the kids. “It’s a good choice, Merida…” Merida beams. “But it’s really not about dogs…or suitable for kids.” 

Merida’s face falls. “Oh.” 

Scott scrambles to cheer her up. “Let’s see what other movies you picked.” Scott looks at the next movie and his face falls. “Animal House. No that’s…no.” 

Hamish stomps off. “Nobody lets me have any fun.” 

Scott looks at the kids. “Let me take a look and I can see what I can find.” 

Scott looks at their movies and looks dismayed. Allison walks back into the room and Scott calls out to her. “Where did all our animated movies go?” 

Allison pauses. “I think we let Stiles and Derek borrow them…” 

Allison and Scott look uneasily at the kids. Allison snaps her fingers. “Scott! Didn’t Derek loan us Planet Ear-“ 

“Allison, stop!” 

“PLANET EARTH?” The children scream. And then there’s chaos. 

\-------------

Derek and Stiles exit the movie theater, stumbling like zombies. Stiles looks at Derek. “Is it just me or did that movie make absolutely NO SENSE.” 

“It made no sense.” 

Stiles gestures about wildly. “I mean I’m down with the weird stuff, obviously, but that movie made no sense. What was it even about?” 

Derek frowns. “Having watched it for two hours, I could not tell you.”

Stiles frowns. “ I mean…was it about psychic connections with pigs?” 

“Do they make movies about psychic connections with pigs?” 

Stiles rubs his face. “I don’t know! I haven’t seen a movie where the intended audience is adults for like six years.” Stiles pauses. “Have our brains atrophied? I mean this movie got good ratings…”

Derek sighs. “I think it’s more a problem of people being pretentious assholes.” 

Stiles stills and then erupts. “I CAN SAY ASSHOLE.” Derek leads Stiles away from the group of people giving them odd looks. 

“Derek, this is amazing. I can say asshole! I actually called somebody a buttcake the other day.” 

Derek grins. “Should I be jealous?” 

Stiles shakes his head. “Nope. It was a very angry buttcake…but it’s like you have a cart full of items and you cut in front of me, with my measly three items, and four kids…10 Items or Less means 10 items or less – I will cut you.” 

Derek laughs. “He sounds like a giant buttcake.” 

“No, no, he was a giant asshole.“ Stiles grins. “Take me to dinner, asshole!” 

Derek wraps an arm around Stiles and grins. “With pleasure, asshole.”

\-------------------------------------------- 

Allison looks at her disheveled living room. She turns to Scott. “Derek is such an ASS-“ 

Scott gestures to the kids. “Don’t!” 

“ASSSSHHHHTRAY.” She points at the kids. “Don’t smoke, kids. It’s bad for you!” 

She turns back to Scott. “Fix this! I will order dinner.” 

Scott nods. “Okay, kids, let’s put the living room back together.”

\---------  
Stiles takes another bite of his panna cotta, relishing the delicate balance of tangy goat milk and candied tomatoes. He takes a look at Derek and pauses. "Uh oh, you're giving me sexy eyebrows."

Derek raises one of said eyebrows. "Sexy eyebrows?"

Stiles furrows his brow and attempts to give Derek a sultry look. "See, sexy eyebrows."

"There's no such thing as sexy eyebrows."

Stiles pauses, spoon dangling from his lips. "But we get in so much trouble when you give me sexy eyebrows."

"Just finish your dessert."

Stiles rolls his eyes. "What's the rush?" Derek gives Stiles a pointed look. Stiles sits up in his chair and gestures to one of the wait staff. "Can I get this to go?"

\-----------------------------------

The kids are zonked out on the couch. 

“How long are they going to be here?” Allison whispers. 

Scott shoves another pizza box into a black trash bag. “It’s only 7:30.” 

Allison sighs and rubs her belly in small circles. “I know. I’m just really tired.” 

Scott freezes. “Let me give Stiles a call.” 

Allison turns, hiding her face from Scott, and starts to smile. “Sucker.” She mouths. 

\-------------

Stiles’ head pops out of a nest of blankets. “Oh shit, is that the phone?” 

Derek scratches at his chest. “It’s called enjoying the afterglow, Stiles.” 

Stiles scrambles out of the bed. “It’s called picking up our kids who have been at the mercy of Scott and Allison all day.” 

Derek sighs. “Fine, let me take a shower and then I’ll run over there.” 

Stiles waves his hand as he picks up the phone. “Hi. Scott!”

\------------------------------------- 

Scott hangs up the phone. “ Derek’s going to be over soon, Allison.” 

As if Derek was the magic word, the children wake up. “Alpa’s coming to pick us up?” 

Allison sighs. “Really soon. Thank god. Let’s try to find something on TV to watch while we wait.” 

They don’t have to wait long before the doorbell rings. The children run towards the door, jumping up and down with excitement. Scott has to fight through the crowd to open the door. When the children see Derek, they start climbing on him. Hamish is wrapped like an octopus around one leg – Fergus on the other. Merida has wrapped her arms around Derek’s neck, the rest of her body dangling like a cape. Angus is holding the car keys. 

Derek stomps towards the minivan, pretend-growling. The triplets are laughing uncontrollably. He starts loading the kids into the car. Once the kids are buckled in, Derek addresses the children. “Say goodbye and thank you to Aunt Allison and Uncle Scott.” A cacophony of thank yous and goodbyes are the result. Derek slides the side door shut. 

He walks toward Allison and Scott. “Thanks for watching the kids for the day. Did it help any?” 

Allison and Scott look at each other. “Not really.” 

Derek smirks. “I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s different when they’re your own kids.”

Allison smiles sweetly “ I don’t doubt that for a minute. But right now, I’m seriously tempted to murder you and put “Planet Earth” on your tombstone.” 

Derek winces. “So we’ll just go then.” 

Scott nods. “That would probably be for the best. But thanks for letting us borrow your kids –testing out the parenthood thing.” 

Derek nods. “Yeah. Thanks again. ” 

Derek gives a small wave, gets into the minivan, and drives off. 

Allison and Scott head back into their house and sigh in relief. 

Allison rubs her forehead. “ I love you peace and quiet, let’s be in a committed relationship.” 

Scott laughs. “I’m open to that.” He embraces Allison. “At least we know we can survive anything now.” 

Allison holds him tightly and nods in agreement. 

\---------------------------------------

When Stiles sees his children that evening. He gives them all a big hug. “I missed you, guys! It was too quiet without you.” 

The evening then devolves into its usual chaos as they get the children ready for bed. Stiles and Derek are pretty sure they wouldn’t change it for anything.


	7. In Sickness and in Health

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles has the flu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tonight, it hit me that Hale means healthy. This plot bunny would not let me go and then it kind of became this weird mixture of Stiles being sick and werewolf history.

The master bedroom smells stale and sour. Stiles is curled up in the middle of the bed, panting in pain. There's a bucket nearby. The bedside table is covered with an eclectic collection of pills and syrups. Derek knows it was inevitable. Stiles is sick. It was only a matter of time with the triplets in Kindergarten. Human kids are gross what with the licking of random objects, picking of noses, openly coughing with no thought of the people in close proximity. 

Hales don't really get sick. It's right there in the name itself. Hale - strong and healthy or free from infirmity, defect, or disease. Surnames can tell you a lot about a family - a place of origin, an occupation, a characteristic. Being strong and healthy, that definitely stands out when whole villages are stricken with the plague, smallpox, or influenza. It's no coincidence that some of the oldest wolf packs have surnames of Gottfried, Durand, Hale, and Bloom. Though there's not a lot of Blooms left - their numbers decimated in the 1918 flu pandemic. 

The real problem is that although these diseases typically don’t affect werewolves, they can effectively transmit them. In the Middle Ages, werewolves, frightened by the overwhelming scent of death, pain, and danger would flee - seeking sanctuary - and unwittingly spread the disease they were trying to escape in the first place. 

Eventually werewolves made the connection - started settling further from the center of the towns or villages, but it was too late. Strangers were regarded with suspicion. Recluses even more so. Healthy recluses, practically doomed, some of the first targets of accusations of witchcraft or hunters. Humans grow especially bitter when they see someone's fortune is better than theirs. 

So in a way, history repeats itself but on a smaller scale. The children bringing home the flu and Stiles the only one suffering the consequences. Stiles is justifiably bitter as the disease ravages his body. 

\---------  
“Murderous plot!” 

Derek sighs, crossing his arms. “There was no ill will.” 

Stiles retches into the bucket and Derek winces at the renewed smell of bile. “I’m dying. Please kill me.” 

Derek whispers. “Please I know you’re in agony…but you’re starting to scare the kids.” 

Stiles moans and starts to crawl to the bathroom. Derek flees before he’s subjected to the scent of another round of diarrhea. 

Derek shouts through the door, “Stiles, remember to keep hydrated! Try to eat if you can!” 

“Pleaaaaaaaaaase. KILL. ME.” 

Derek winces and heads down the stairs. The kids are sitting on the couch, huddled together, looking miserable. Angus is holding a red-faced and squirming Elinor. The triplets are huddled together looking forlorn. 

Derek claps his hands and tries to smile. “ We’ve got sleeping bags and popcorn and it’s going to be fun – sleeping in the living room, yay.” 

Angus doesn’t look particularly impressed with the situation. Fergus’ bottom lip is starting to tremble. Merida raises her hand. “Alpa?” 

“Meri?” 

Merida looks to her siblings and then looks back at Derek. “ Is Daddy dying?”

Derek winces. “ No, Meri, he’s not dying. He’s just sick. But he’s got some medicine and he’s getting some rest, and soon he’ll get better.” Derek turns to look at Hamish who is shaking his head vigorously. “Stop shaking your head, Hamish.” 

Hamish frowns. “If you saw what I saw, you’d know that Daddy is dying! Green came out! It was everywhere! This is not a good sign.” 

Meri looks at Hamish and gasps. Fergus covers his eyes with his hands. 

Derek winces at the memory. “Hamish, he’s only sick, I promise.” 

Angus nods. “Hamish, Daddy is human. Humans get sick sometimes. That’s why you had a substitute teacher this week.” 

Hamish shakes his head. “Daddy’s better than human! He cuts the crust of my sandwiches and he knows Latin, and he helps the Pack fight against monsters. It’s got to be poison or something.” Hamish hops off the couch. “I’m going to call Doctor Deaton.” 

Derek scoops Hamish up and hugs him close. “ Deaton can’t help, Hamish. I know it’s scary, but this is something Daddy has to do now by himself.” 

Fergus whimpers and runs up the stairs. 

Derek sighs and puts Hamish back on the couch. “Angus, watch your brother and sisters for me, please.” 

Angus nods. “Sure thing.” 

Derek climbs up the stairs. The master bedroom door is open. Fergus is clinging to a particularly clammy-looking Stiles. Stiles is brushing his fingers through his hair. Stiles looks up and smiles weakly at Derek. “It’s okay, Fergus. Daddy is feeling a lot better now.” 

Derek sighs when he hears the sound of pajama-clad feet, running up the stairs. Meri jumps onto the bed, soon followed by Hamish. Angus follows at a more sedate pace. Derek rubs his forehead and joins the rest of his family on the bed.


	8. The Dreaded Beast with Two Backs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Myrin who prompted: How about the kids (or one of them) sneaking in on their parents doing sexytime-ish stuff? I don’t know if this is what you had in mind, but here you go. AND I SOMEHOW MADE SOME OF IT ANGST-Y and RAMBLE-Y. IDEK.

For the record, it's really difficult to have celebratory Yay-We-Didn't-Die sex in a household with five children under the age of ten...who are also werewolves. Stiles and Derek know this. Stiles has tried to grill Derek about how _his_ parents managed to do it. Derek really didn't appreciate this line of inquiry, muttering something about Peter and Pack and the forest, before fleeing to the roof of the barn to "fix" it. This has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it's one of the few places on the farm that Stiles can't reach and the children are forbidden to. So Stiles can only assume that Peter or other members of the pack watched the kids while Ma and Pa Hale had themselves some Afternoon Delight...in the forest. Which is really not helpful. Peter doesn't really come to the farm. If he does it's with a sneer as he steps around poo or dodges a chicken - "If I wanted to visit a farm, I would stay home and watch Green Acres." As far is Derek is concerned, that was a check in the Pro column when they were looking at houses. Also, Stiles is not really a fan of being that intimate with nature. He always ends up with abrasions in the oddest places. Minivan is too awkward. Camaro is too cramped. So their genius plan is to shut their bedroom door and be very, very quiet. 

It really shouldn't be a surprise that their plan...doesn't go according to plan.

\----------

Fergus sits up suddenly in his bed, stifling a yell. He starts frantically patting his bed. He nearly cries in relief when he finds the familiar object. He slides the switch and is nearly blinded by the resulting light. He directs the circle of light towards the door. His best friend, Burp, who is sleeping at the foot of his bed, doesn't appreciate the wake-up call, groaning and rolling over. Fergus steadies the light on the door and waits. The doorknob doesn't move. The circle of light slides across the wall illuminating the closet, which is still secure, before reaching the window. It's closed and there's no monsters waiting there. Fergus sighs in relief, reaching to turn off the flashlight, when he hears a noise. The light jitters back to the door. Fergus holds it there, waiting. When he hears the noise again he nearly drops the flashlight. Fergus keeps his eye on the door but quietly calls out to his brother. "Haaaamish." There's no answer. Fergus starts to feel frantic. Did the monsters already get Hamish? 

" Hamish...Hamish.Hamish. Hamish?" 

Hamish finally sits up and bed, lifting his eye mask. "I'm trying to get my beauty sleep, Gus Gus." 

"I heard a noise." 

"You're always hearing noises." Hamish grumbles and turns over, patting his pillow. "Just go back to sleep." But freezes when he hears a noise.

Fergus hisses. "That's the noise!"

Hamish carefully gets out of bed and starts creeping toward the door. He presses his ear against the door and waits. He jumps away from the door like he's been burnt. He looks back at Fergus. "It's in the house!" 

The light starts to shake. Hamish shakes his head and starts to walk towards the closet. 

"Hamish, don't open the closet!" 

"It's not in the closet! Stop being such a baby." 

Hamish flings open the closet and starts rummaging through it. He pulls out a Nerf baseball bat, a lacrosse stick, and a helmet. He throws the bat at Fergus who fumbles it. 

The door opens and Fergus drops the bat in surprise. Burp jumps and lets out a little yip. Fergus snatches the flashlight and points it towards the door. Fergus sighs in relief when he sees it's Angus, shielding his eyes from the light. 

"What are you guys doing? It's 2:00 in the morning!" 

"We keep hearing noises." 

Angus shakes his head. "You're always hearing noises, Fergus." He pauses and stares at Hamish, who is standing there wearing the helmet. Hamish tests the heft of the lacrosse stick and takes a few practice swings. "It's legit this time."

Angus shakes his head and puts his forehead in his hands. "It's nothing, just go back to -” Angus freezes and listens. "Oh no, it's coming from Dad and Alpa's room." 

Fergus freezes in absolute terror. He'd just spent the day drawing his favorite things - the sun, Burp - on Daddy's cast trying to imbue it with safety and happiness. Had he cursed him instead? 

Angus frowns. "Hamish, wake the girls." 

Merida patters into the room carrying Elinor. "We're already awake." She jumps on Fergus' bed. Burp is yet again disturbed by the commotion and climbs on Fergus' lap.

Fergus just wants to hold Burp and cry. They just beat the monsters, this can't be happening again so soon. What hope do they have if the monster is already in his parents' room? The tortured moans do not seem like good news. 

"Merida. I need you to stand by the stairs with Elinor. If there's trouble, you need to take Ellie and get help. Do you have your cell phone?" 

Merida shakes her head and silently scampers out of the room. 

Angus turns to Hamish and Fergus. "It's going to be our responsibility to fight the monster."

Fergus hugs Burp close. Merida returns to the room, her fingers white as they clutch her phone. She picks up Elinor and nods to Angus. 

Fergus looks down at Burp, who looks completely calm as he licks his paws. Fergus looks to Merida. "Meri, can you take Burp with you?" 

Merida looks at Fergus. Fergus looks down and focuses on stroking Burp's tawny fur. "Promise me, you'll take care of him if something happens to me...and scratch behind his ears sometimes. He likes that." Fergus' lip trembles but he swipes at his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

Merida nods solemnly. “ I will, Fergus. I promise.” Merida pats her thigh. “Come on, Burp.” Burp looks up at Fergus. “Go on, Burp.” Burp stretches and gingerly jumps off the bed, waiting at Merida’s feet. Merida picks up Elinor and leaves the room. Burp trots after her, his tail wagging. 

Fergus sighs and picks up his bat and flashlight. He gives Angus a little nod. Angus flexes his hand and he suddenly has claws. 

The boys finally leave the room. Fergus sees Merida standing by the stairs. She gives him a little nod. 

The boys creep down the hallway, poised to strike. The pause when they hear another particularly drawn out moan and then a horrible hissing noise. 

Angus pauses. “Dad?” 

\------------

Derek freezes and hisses at Stiles. “I told you, you were being too loud.” 

Stiles groans. “Maybe if we don’t say anything he’ll go away.” 

Stiles and Derek wait in silence. 

\--------------

When they hear no response, it’s like there’s a stone in their stomachs. Their dad is so injured, he can’t even yell for help. 

Angus grabs the doorknob with a clawed hand. He turns and looks back at Hamish and Fergus, who nod signaling their readiness. 

Angus flings open the door. Fergus shines his flashlight into the room. Daddy is lying on the bed and there’s a huge lump on top of him. The look of horror in his Daddy’s eyes only confirms Fergus’ worst fears. 

Hamish shakes his lacrosse stick. “KILL IT!” 

Fergus bustles into the room swinging his Nerf baseball bat wildly. Hamish jumps into the room, whacking the lump under the blankets with the lacrosse stick. Angus joins Hamish on the bed, slashing at the blanket with his claws. 

There are feathers everywhere. 

Fergus throws his baseball bat to the floor and runs to the bed, grabbing his Daddy’s hands, careful of his injured arm. “Don’t worry, Daddy! We’ll save you.”

And that’s when Stiles starts laughing. 

Derek throws off the blanket. Hamish looks at Derek and then down at his lacrosse stick, throwing it nonchalantly on the ground. He turns around and starts to strut out of the room. “False alarm, Merida! 

Fergus feels completely lost. He feels like a can of soda that’s been shaken violently. He looks up to see Burp rolling around in the feathers, and he basically completely loses it. 

\--------------

So that was probably the worst-case scenario. Stiles immediately feels horrible for laughing, but once he starts he can’t stop. He keeps picturing Fergus’ small face, pinched with determination. Hamish swinging, screaming like a banshee. And then the feathers. He loves his kids, risking their lives to save him. He’s so proud...and also mortified. This is going to be a great conversation. Just great. 

\--------------

Merida wrinkles her nose. Hamish clutches his ears. “WHY ARE YOU TELLING US THIS?” 

Angus is shaking his head as he watches Elinor chew on her foot. “Please, I don’t need any more brothers and sisters.” 

Stiles starts waving his hands. “No, no, no. We were not trying for brothers and/or sisters. We were using protection.” 

Fergus perks up. He’s still cradling Burp to his chest. “ Like mountain ash?” 

Stiles winces. “Yup…just like mountain ash.” 

Derek glowers at Stiles. “I think that’s enough excitement for one night. It’s bedtime.” 

Hamish gets up and stretches. “ Don’t have to tell me twice.” He leaves the room and starts stomping up the stairs. Angus and Merida follow more sedately. 

Stiles picks up Elinor, gently pulling her foot away from her mouth, and leaves the room. 

Fergus stands up, moving to follow. Burp is watching his every move. Derek looks down at Fergus. “You know, I’m proud of you, right?” 

Fergus pauses, looking startled. “Why? I’m just a stupid scaredy-cat. “ 

Derek smiles wistfully. “Even though you were scared, you went to help your Dad. That’s a very important job…and you’re not stupid, Fergus.” 

“Daddy wasn’t even in trouble, I feel stupid.” 

Derek pauses, pensive. “You never know. Just because you are at home, doesn’t mean you are safe.”

Fergus nods sagely. “Sometimes there are monsters in the closet.” 

Derek pauses. “I’m not trying to scare you…and there are no monsters in the closet, we checked earlier, right?” 

Fergus nods. 

Derek sighs. “What I’m trying to say is that sometimes it’s okay to be scared, but you just can’t let that fear control you…but sometimes a little bit of fear is healthy.” 

Fergus starts to look a little confused. 

“ What I mean is that you have to be vigilant…” 

“Vigilant?” 

Derek sighs. “Like be on the look out for danger…but don’t try to find danger everywhere you look…Your dad and I are responsible for watching out for you…but since we’re family, we take care of each other.” Derek scratches his head. “ I’m tired, I don’t know what I’m trying to say anymore. ”

Fergus nods his head. “Okay.” 

“Let’s just go to sleep.”

Fergus nods his head. “Sounds like a plan.”


	9. Holidays in the Hale Household

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holidays, it's a time when family and friends get together!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically this serves as an intro of sorts to a new multi-chaptered work in this series - that's still in the outline phase - called 'Tis the Season, so keep an eye out for that if you want. :D

The holidays are a huge affair. Huge, 24 hour, face-melting extravaganzas. The entire extended family, i.e., pack, reunites. Lydia drives up from Pasadena, toting her Louis Vuitton luggage and her graduate students' tests to grade. If there's a lull in holiday festivities, the tests are out and she's writing scathing remarks in the margins. Hamish is fascinated with the entire process; in fact he's fascinated with Lydia, period. It's a little bit scary that the feeling seems to be mutual. 

Boyd flies in from Ohio. You would think after going through so much trouble to return to Beacon Hills for the holidays that Boyd would relish spending quality time with the pack, but that's not really the case. He'll help prep for the holiday meals, but then as soon as other people start to arrive, Boyd will spend most of the time sequestered in Angus' room, playing video games with Angus while Fergus acts as a lookout. When Boyd was in the Air Force, there was never a problem, but as soon as he became a financial planner, he's constantly hassled about it. Melissa, Stiles' dad, Chris, and especially Peter at one point or another try to corner Boyd and ask him about retirement, whether they should be investing in REITs, and how they can get a better rates of return in their portfolios. Stiles knows that Derek lazily eavesdrops on these conversations when they happen. They'll be lying in bed and Derek will start bringing up 529s and maybe they should start saving into solo 401ks. Derek will never ask Boyd directly during the holidays because while Boyd loves his job, he also works really hard - spends his weekends counseling low-income and military families, and Derek thinks he deserves a holiday too.

Cora travels constantly around the country in her Airstream trailer. She scouts for several athletic teams. Apparently being a werewolf comes in handy. So it's a rare but happy event when she stops into town. Merida in particular goes absolutely crazy when she spots the gleam of Cora's silvery trailer.

The rest of the family still lives in Beacon Hills. Isaac works at the elementary school. He swears he's the school counselor, but Stiles has only seen him on the playground playing with the children. Deaton is still Deaton, he loves to bring vegetarian side dishes. One year he brought tofurkey and Derek nearly threw it out of the house. He's vehemently against fake meat. Chris and Derek surprisingly agree on this matter, but their opinions don't really count, as Derek is responsible for procuring the venison for the meal, and Chris, well, he makes his own sausage from a family recipe that's nearly as important as their werewolf-hunting legacy. Melissa still works at the hospital and Stiles' dad is still sheriff. It's almost guaranteed that they'll be on shift during the holidays, but if they celebrate the holiday the entire day, they are basically guaranteed a period of time when everybody is there, in one place, together. And that is what makes the holidays truly magical.


	10. Whips and Chaney

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little more about Merida.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do not know anything about roller derby beyond Wikipedia and the movie - Whip It! Apparently they were considering roller sports in the 2020 games (and excluded it) but I'm pretending they decided to go ahead. Also events in 'Tis the Season are mentioned in this - so it might make more sense to read that first? 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Merida is, in essence, a simple creature. Of the triplets, she's usually the easiest to please and/or predict, which Stiles and Derek truly appreciate at the end of the day. Her actions tend to stray towards the more aggressive end of the behavioral spectrum, but Stiles and Derek got a handle on the biting by the time she was six. Any demonstrations of her viciousness are limited to defending others, especially her siblings. Merida doesn't pull her punches, which is fine when her energy is focused on others, but when that ire is directed towards you - well good luck. It doesn't mean that she doesn't surprise Derek and Stiles periodically like when she asked for roller skates for Christmas one year...but eventually that too made sense because Merida has two passions in life: Classic movies and roller derby. 

In regards to classic movies, she doesn't poo-poo films like Casablanca or Singin' in the Rain, but her preferred prey are "horror" films and B movies like The Wolf Man, Dracula, Creature from the Black Lagoon, and Tod Browning's Freaks. She devours them on an ancient purple TV/DVD combo that Hamish found at a thrift shop and gifted to her for Christmas one year. The remote control had been lost, so Merida sits perched on her chair by her desk, entranced by the flickering black and white images. This passion undoubtedly influenced her derby name decision-making process resulting in Whips and Chaney. Hamish declared that the name was insipid and tactless, but Merida is not one to be swayed by Hamish's opinions or public opinion in general. 

Merida's love of roller derby could probably be traced to the 2024 Summer Olympic. It was a popular year for roller sports especially after the success of the US women's team who seemed to inspire a whole generation of girls to don roller skates - a passing fad for many, but not Merida. She was enamored by the idea that there was a sport, a contact sport even, where her natural werewolf athletic prowess would be hampered by the presence of roller skates thus resulting in a somewhat even playing field. In all honesty, Merida was horrible at roller skating at first, lacking any werewolf-influenced aptitude - unlike Angus and his viola. But she trained diligently every day, which usually resulted in some spectacular wipeouts. Stiles and Derek were particularly thankful for her healing abilities because otherwise they would have spent the majority of their time in the hospital emergency room no doubt inviting inquiries of possible child endangerment. Melissa spent a couple of weekends training Stiles and Derek in first aid, including how to set broken bones (properly) which was extraordinarily helpful since Merida evidently was not deterred by pain or the fact that her nose would always be a little crooked. By the time she was 10, she was satisfied with her ability and expressed her desire to join a junior league. So at least once a week the entire family drives over to Redding so Merida can skate. It's not always easy, but it's what Merida wants more than anything because her goal is to go to the Olympics...and win.


	11. High School By Hamish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a very little drabble about Hamish's high school experiences during SNoL.

Hamish is tormented in high school. The cooler-than-thou-attitude so carefully cultivated in elementary and middle school results in a barren social experience for Hamish in high school. His attempts at nonchalance are met with antagonism. His passion for cooking met with derision. The bullies had learned quickly in middle school that Merida was a protective force to be reckoned with, so attacks are quick, glancing blows in the hallways between classes. Hamish is unfazed by the physical attacks - they don't really hurt for long - which only makes the bullies hit harder. Cooper Johnson considers Hamish public enemy número uno or would if he hadn't failed Spanish. And that was part of the problem, Hamish had no filter and Cooper Johnson made it too easy. He had unintentionally embarrassed Cooper enough times that Cooper felt perfectly justified in exacting retribution. 

In all honesty, it's not the bullying that troubles Hamish. It's the sheer tedium that is adolescence. He doesn't care about attending unchaperoned house parties with dubious alcoholic cocktails in red Solo cups, though really he's not invited. He doesn't care about the girls or boys who seem strangely attracted to his aloofness. He doesn't care when the pretty Foster Jones asks him to the Sadie Hawkins dance, flipping her braids over her shoulder as she walks away, rejected, because he has to work that night at The Cluck Hut. He could have asked for the night off, but he dreams of bigger and better things - bigger than The Cluck Hut, better than Beacon Hills High. He saves his money that he earns selling his cookies during the holidays, working 20 hours a week since he was 14 years old at the restaurant. As soon as he can get out of high school, he's leaving. He wants to travel the world, sample different cuisines, and further hone his skills in the kitchen. He just has to get through high school first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thinking about doing similar drabbles for Fergus and Merida. Prompts are welcome. :)


	12. Fergus' High School Experience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drabble of Fergus' high school experience.

If you were to ask the Beacon Hills High Class of '38 what their impression was of Fergus Hale, they would say he was a weird but cool kid. Fergus himself would be surprised with this characterization as he just spends most of his energy doing his own thing, the very same mentality he had in middle school where he was only considered a weird kid. There was no magical summer transformation between middle and high school except maybe he grew taller. He's still skinny and fairly quiet. Fergus still has a "non-existent" girlfriend and a "stupid" webcomic with said imaginary girlfriend, but maybe his more subtle character qualities begin to shine despite the social rigmarole of high school. 

He volunteers at the local public library - corralling rambunctious toddlers during story time, shelving books, and suggesting books to teenagers. Cerberus "Burp" even gets in on the action sometimes, Fergus brings him to the library so children can read to him. These activities might endear him to his classmates with younger siblings who visit the library. Fergus' work on the student newspaper allows him to interact with his fellow classmates in a benign, but pleasant manner. He doesn't have as many friends as Merida, inexplicably, has, but he definitely has more than Hamish, who is more likely to hang out in the teachers' lounge than with the immature, hormone-riddled masses. 

Apparently, Fergus' sweet demeanor, work with children and dogs, and committed relationship, however imaginary, makes him a commodity among the same immature, hormone-riddled masses, especially those of the female persuasion. Some girls hover around Fergus waiting to hear rumors of a break-up. Others are bolder, approaching Fergus while he's at his locker, batting their eyelashes, complimenting his analysis of the latest novel in English class. Given the chance, Fergus would happily enter into further discussion of _To Kill a Mockingbird_ or _Of Mice and Men_ , oblivious to the intent behind the conversation. Merida typically keeps one eye on Fergus just for this reason and will swoop in and glare at the girl until she leaves. Fergus is a favorite among the teachers, although he has gotten his fair share of detentions for texting during class, but his love of learning is appreciated. Fergus doesn't hate high school, but he doesn't think he'll miss it that much either. He's just looking forward to graduating and going to a college and learning more about the world. If that college is closer to Hypatia...well that's good too. 


	13. Disagreement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for Myrin who asked to see Stiles and Derek fighting about something really mundane and normal.

Stiles shakes his head back and forth vehemently. "I just want to know Derek, are you being serious? Like are you actually being serious right now?" 

Derek makes a slashing motion through the air. "I could ask you the same thing. I'm a were-"

"You finish that sentence and I will _end_ you," Stiles says, pointing his finger. "I. Do. Not. Have. Amnesia. I know you're a werewolf. You're not allowed to play the werewolf card this time."

Derek glowers at the pointed fingers. "But. I. Am. A. Werewolf," he grits out between his teeth. 

Stiles points to his face. "I have eyes same as you. I'm telling you, Derek, it is blue and black." 

"Your eyes are obviously missing the nuances of this picture because it is white and gold. Clearly white and gold. Clearly."

"Maybe you're reading too much into the 'nuances' because I see black and blue. How does black and blue even look like white and gold? It doesn't, because it's black and blue."

Stiles and Derek turn towards Elinor expectedly. 

Elinor retreats into her hoodie. "I kind of see orange and blue."

Stiles and Derek shake their heads in disappointment. 

"Orange? Remind me to take you to the optometrist on Monday, Ellie," Stiles says, pinching his nose.

Derek looks between the picture on his phone and Ellie. "How do you see blue?"

Elinor shrugs a shoulder. "I just do?" Elinor pulls the blanket higher as the bickering continues. She quietly sends out a text underneath the blanket. 

**Elinor: DAD AND ALPA HAVE GONE CRAZY. OFFICIALLY.**

**Merida: DO YOU NEED REINFORCEMENTS? BARRICADE YOURSELF IN THE BATHROOM. DO IT NOW. IT COULD BE A CONTAGION.**

**Elinor: ............**

**Elinor: I don't think that's it, Officer Hale. They're arguing about the color of a dress. It was on the nightly news.**

**Merida: WTF. Do they smell like magic?**

**Elinor: NOPE.**

**Merida: REALLY? I NEED PICS.**

**Elinor: I'm trying not to make any sudden movements.**

**Angus: Wait, what's going on? Should I drive over?**

Elinor surreptitiously looks around the house. Her dad is on his laptop. "I'm going to prove you wrong, mister," he yells. 

"I'm a werewolf, Stiles. I can hear you," Alpa yells in return.

Stiles shoots a nasty look towards the office. "You're sleeping on the couch tonight! You hear that?"

**Elinor: Alpa is sleeping on the couch tonight.**

**Angus: All this over a dress? Uh. If you really want me to, I can drive over, but...**

**Merida: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAcoward.**

**Angus: You're 30 minutes closer, Merida, in case you forgot.**

**GusGus: I'll probably be up for another...four hours writing this paper, if you need to talk, Ellie. FML.**

**Merida: And you wanted me to go to college. HA.**

**Hamish: do you know what time it is in New York?**

**Hamish: Why are you making this a group text!**

**Hamish: I have to be up in TWO HOURS.**

**Hamish: BREAD IS DELICIOUS BUT STUPID.**

**Elinor: Oops?**

**Hamish: Oops my wolfy ass. I'm turning my phone off. Deal with it.**

Elinor pauses as a yell erupts from the office. "It turned blue and black." 

Stiles looks towards the office before looking at his computer screen. "Now I see white and gold! What is happening? Derek come in here, we need to Google this together."

Elinor shrugs. 

**Elinor: False alarm**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if this is what you wanted, Myrin, but it's what my mind jumped to (probably because of the recent events, you know).


End file.
